Remembering Sandeep…

Eight long years.   As we start to look forward to a reunion (after well over a decade), the heart alternates between being  heavy with the realization that you will not be with us and being positive that you WILL be with us.  In spirit, in our memories, in our togetherness.

Missing you today and always,

Your kunji chechi – Anu

Seven years in this world without you.   It’s funny how some days, a memory from days long gone comes back, so crystal clear that it feels like you never left.  And other times, especially when I see young guys your age,  I feel so outraged at the unfairness of it all.

This poem, by Emily Dickinson, captures so  eloquently, what all of us who knew you feel.   It is so true, we cherish more than ever, all the memories you left us with.  You were larger than life when you were with us.  Always in the thick of conversation, always in the middle of everything !   And for that, thank you.

Love always,

Kunji (Anu)

Death sets a thing significant – Emily Dickinson

Death sets a thing significant

The eye had hurried by,

Except a perished creature

Entreat us tenderly

 

To ponder little workmanships

In crayon or in wool,

With “This was last her fingers did,”

Industrious until

 

The thimble weighed too heavy,

The stitches stopped themselves,

And then ‘t was put among the dust

Upon the closet shelves.

 

A book I have, a friend gave,

Whose pencil, here and there,

Had notched the place that pleased him,–

At rest his fingers are.

 

Now, when I read, I read not,

For interrupting tears

Obliterate the etchings

Too costly for repairs.

I imagine..

You in a room with a huge window,

A beautiful view of the big blue sky and puffy white clouds.

A room with a big comfy couch, a flat screen TV

And lots and lots and lots of books…

I imagine..

You lazing on the couch, your long legs propped up on the arms of the couch,

Watching the World cup cricket games.

I imagine, you, taking a break to catch up on the crazy day that Kerala politics saw.

I imagine the witty comments you would have made on seeing the chaos we all saw.

I imagine you having a great big wonderful birthday with your new friends and family

 Happy birthday my dear, dear brother.  I cannot tell you how deeply you are missed.  I hope you knew how much you were loved by all of us and that as each day goes by, that bond only grows stronger.

Always, always, your Kunji chech

Anu

“Forward, forever forward,
For, at the end of the tunnel is light,
At the end of the battle is victory.”

Sandeep, these were the words that you wrote in my autograph book. They have inspired me ever since, and have helped me keep going forward, when the going was not easy. I am sure that your positive energy, empathy and genuineness have deeply touched the lives of all those who have known you. I feel truly blessed to be one of those.

A person as wonderful as you,
I have never met another!

You make me smile! And here, I am sending you loads of smiles, for all the cheer that your memories bring to our lives!

-Teena

Hi Sandeep Chetta,

It’s hard to believe that I haven’t seen you in 6 years. Your memories are still so fresh.

On this day, I thank you for always being the perfect big brother. I miss you, your wise words and your silly jokes

Lots of love,

Geethu

On the eve of your sixth anniversary, Sandeep, thinking of you and hoping you are happy and peaceful and watching over us every day. I know I have said this before, but we have so many memories of you that it’s like you are still with us. The other day, a friend of mine at work, lost her niece, a five year old, to DIPG (one of the rarest forms of brain cancer) and as I drove back, so upset at the loss and the unfairness of it all, I looked up at the sky and asked you to watch out for her and help her. As naive and crazy as it may seem, I like to think of you as with us, just not in the same room. My happy memory for today is of one of the Onam or Christmas holidays in trivandrum when your chechiamma were on a “chambakka” making craze. They had made chambakka pickle and chambakka jam (maybe) and chambakka squash. You gave her such a hard time for a number of years after that. Everytime you came over after that season and chechiamma asked you if you wanted something to drink, you would say “Ayyo, Chambakka juice venda please”.

love you always,
Always, always your kunji chechi.
Anu

2014 would have seen your thirtieth birthday, dear Sandeep. Oh how we would all have ragged you on becoming an old man! And how we all still MISS you sweetheart. Love love love.
Vallichech.

My dear Sandeep,

As you well know, I never, ever passed up an opportunity to remind you that I was six years older. So it seems fitting that, I should comment that you are as old today as I was when you left us. Happy birthday little brother. I know you are smiling and rolling your eyes at me from up above. Have a blast !

Love you always. Forever your Kunji chech, Anu

Well, its a ‘bye’ to the twenties and ‘hi’ to the thirties!

Happy birthday, Sandeep!

With each passing year, you are becoming ever more alive in our hearts. I think that shows the power of your innocence, earnestness and goodness with which you touched our lives!

You were such a true friend. I never found another person like you.

Let me quote something that you said during the high jump event of the Sports Day in class XII: “Participation is more important than winning. I am here to participate.” These are such powerful words that have, very honestly, inspired me on many occasions in life.

Miss you a lot, but it also feels like you are somewhere nearby.

– Teena

Sandeep,
Five long years.
One thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five days.
Lots of tears.
Lots of smiles when remembering things you said or did.
Life goes on and you are still very much a part of our lives.
In our conversations, in our memories, in our thoughts and in our dreams.

A few months ago, I started placing a fresh flower at the start of each week on your picture.  I did not know that such a simple and common act would bring me so much peace.  It makes me stop and reflect and pray for you.

-Always, Always, your Kunji Chech – Anu